Thursday, April 28, 2005

The Dorm Chronicles V

"News quiz!" I shouted to Sis, inspired by an incident in class today. "How many Supreme Court Justices can you name?"

"Uhh . . . let's see." Sis leaned back in her chair and looked at the ceiling. "There's Rhenquist, and the black guy, and the homely lady, and the not-homely lady . . . and six other men. No, five other men!"

I fell apart at this. For the record, she knows that "the black guy" is Clarence Thomans, the "homely woman" is Ruth Bader Ginsberg (or "Darth Vader Ginsberg;" it depends on how slap-happy I am) and that the "not-homely woman" is Sandra Day O'Connor. She only did one worse than me; I remembered Scalia in class today. I'm still working on the other four.

Frankly, I'm impressed. She did very well for a self-avowed non-news junkie.

Monday, April 25, 2005

Oh, the Irony: A Lesson in Unintentional Self-Parody

At least, I think it's parody.

Glenn Reynolds posted today about a blog so mind-bogglingly . . . um . . . I'm sorry, I just can't think of an adequate adjective.

The blog, called "The Iraq War Was Wrong Blog", is a site to behold (that's a pun, not an error). In one post, comprised of one sentence, I counted two apostrophe errors, one missing word, one outrageous misspelling ("gesthure"?) and the oh-so-charming epithet "Instaputzi" (a contraction of Instapundit, putz and nazi). That's just in one sentence in one post. Now, the more I read of it, the more I become convinced that the site is a parody. On the other hand, satire is usually acknowledged by the humorist, and I have yet to find evidence of such an admission. Make up your own mind, I suppose, but before you do, poke around there a little (if you can stand to). I personally found this post/thread to be especially enlightening.

And by "enlightening" I mean "what happened the year we tried sparkler candles on my birthday cake along with regular candles and we had to hold them up with spoon handles by the end of the happy birthday song because they all melted."

Also, if you have time, this thread about it on Little Green Footballs is especially funny.

Also also, please let it be noted that although our blogs use the same template, this only adds to the irony.

Wednesday, April 20, 2005

Meh.

Sooooooo . . . no blogging recently. *insert self-flagellation here* Sorry. I've been busy.

On to the minutes: Frank will read the minutes this time. Frank?

[pause]

Not your watch, Frank, the--forget it. On to the agenda: tonight I'm going to draw papers at random from the suggestion box; it's been getting pretty full, and I didn't have anything else planned for tonight. First up: "Can we get some better toilet paper for the bathrooms in here?" Laura, we've been over this. Take it up with the Sergeant-at-Arms.

[paper rustling]

Next: "Why are there oyster crackers, but not clam crackers?"

[pause]

Steve, this looks like your handwriting. Did you write this?

[Steve giggles from the audience]

Steve, you know the punishment for abusing the suggestion box. Guys, the licorice is in the bottom cabinet. The door to the alley is around the corner on the left. You know what to do.

[Steve is dragged away]

He'll be fine. Okay, next: "Clean up the frappin' snack area. The mice have formed a union." Well, I think we can all guess who wrote that one. Now, if there are no annoucements, we'll get on to the rest of the evening's festivities: it's Hi-Ho Cherry-O Night!

[cheers]

[fade out]

Friday, April 08, 2005

No title

A note: "No title" is Hannah-ese for "horrible pun ahead." Don't say I didn't warn you.

From Sis's friend Jeff: What do you get when two Italian dogs say goodbye?

Puppy ciao.

Blib blibby title blib

Yeah, so I haven't been blogging much.

Ahem. Anyway, on to business. If everyone is assembles, First Officer Smith will read the minutes.

[pause]

First Officer?

[crickets]

Moving on: next week's inaugural meeting of Apathetics Anonymous has been cancelled due to lack of interest, Thursday's Over-committers Anonymous has been cancelled due to scheduling conflicts, and tonight's meeting of the Mad Scientists' Guild has been cancelled; apparently they finished the monster early and, what with last night's rather spectacular thunderstorm, they won't be needing our facilities after all. Also, to make up for the sudden cancelation, they sent us this lovely fruit basket.

[mild applause]

Finally, the janitors have asked me to mention that some of you have not been keeping the snack area clean. You know who you are; fix it. We're starting to get mice, and as we all know, mice and radioactive waste don't mix.

[quiet mumbling of assent and a few yelps as people are elbowed in the ribs]

Now everyone raise your right hand, and we will recite the Karl Rove pledge of secrecy . . . .

Yeah, I don't have enough to do right now.